chasing pavements

i've made up my mind, dont need to think it over
if im wrong i am right, dont need to look no furthur
this aint luct, i know this is love

but if i tell the world, i 'll never say enough
cause it was not said to you
and that's exactly what i need to do if i'd end up eith u

should i give up or should i just keep chasing pavement
even if it leads nowhere?
or would it be a waste even if i knew my place
should i leave it there>
should i give up or should i just keep chasing pavements
even if it leads nowhere?

i build myself up and fly around in circles
wait then as my heart drops and my back begins to tingle
finally could this be it?

should i give up or should i just keep chasing pavement

Everyone's Watching

Letting Go - Part 4

Dear Whoever-It-May-Concern,

You don't really have to 100percent agree with in the Letting Go - Part 1,2,&3. If you are self-centred, you might think that I'm all wrong, and you're all right.

Here are some of my personal gratitude after letting down, and letting go. It's personal. So, again, you don't have to say yes to all these. But I prefer to use the word 'you' for the statements below, well for some personal reason. Now you might be scolding me. Blow me. This is my space. So what?

Letting go of your past means accepting that there's nothing you can do to change the past.

Letting go of your past means forgiving yourself for your mistakes.

Letting go of your past means being aware of your thoughts.

Letting go of your past means trusting the nature of time.

Letting go of your past means making new connections with people.

Letting go of your past means seeking balance in your conversatins.

Letting go of your past means exploring a new world. (this is really exciting!!!)

Letting go of your past means volunteering your time.


Feels good no? I do :)


Love, P

Letting Go - Part 3

Dear Whoever-It-May-Concern,

There is a very distinct difference between 放下 and 放开. You may be 放得下, but not 放得开.

There's this little bug inside your tummy seeking for the true definition of letting go. What is letting go?

To let go does not mean to stop caring. It means I can't do it for someone else.

To let go is not to cut myself off. It's the realization that I can't control another.

To let go is to admit powerlessness, which mean the outcome is not in my hands.

To let go is not try to change or blame another. Its to make the most of myself.

To let go is not to care for, but to care about.

To let go is not to fic, but to be supportive.

To let go is not to judge, but to allowe another to be a human being.

To let go is not to be in the middle, arranging all the outcomes, but to allow others to affect their own destinies.

To let go is not to deny, but to accept.

To let go is not to nag, scold, or argue, but instead to search out my own shortcomings and correct them.

To let go is not to adjust everything to my desires, but to take each day as it comes and cherish myself in it.

To let go is not to regret the past, but to grow and live for the future.

To let go is fear less and to love more.

:)

Love, P

Letting Go - Part 2

Dear Whoever-It-May-Concern,

You may be wondering why would I make such claim on Letting Go- Part 1. Try to ask yourself some of the questions below. And answer yourself honestly. I mean honestly.

• I am angry with my former love partner.
• I become emotinally upset when I think about my former love partner.
• I still have an emotionaly commitment to my former love partner.
• I still think my former partner and I get back together. (maybe that is why you refuse to see her because you are afraid that you can't hold onto it)
• I find excuses to talk to my former love partner.
• I fantasize about being with my former love partner. (there comes the bribing)
• I still try to pleae my former love partner.
• I talk about my former love partner often o others.

You don't have to answer all Yes to the above. By answering Yes to at least one of the statements above,you may still have not completely let go of your past relationship.

Reluctance to let go, althoug you've trid so hard can convice yourself that you ahve already let go, is actually a sign of unexpressed feelings. By mean the feelings that you have been suppressed and not fully felt bacause of the inability to face such feelings. You may be afraid to let go becaue it will force you to deal directly with your feelings of rejection, guilt, lonliness ans so one. That is why you avoid the feelings by not letting go.

What is a truly letting go means. It means forgiveness.

I've heard you dozen times saying: What's the point of forgiving? There is nothing in between anymore. Past is the past.

Yah, you said is past is the past. Your tongues speak it, but not your actions.

You may have to say : " I forgive ( name) and I release the hurt and anger I have felt and now go free." " I did the best I could with the knowledge I had at the time and now I forgive myself and go free."

Forgiveness is a gift you give to yourself, and this gift is the power to release you and lift your spirit. Yo can and will have a new beginning in life and new attitude when you forgive. Release yourself, and go free :)

Love, P

Letting Go - Part 1

Dear Whoever -It-May-Concern,

There was this kind of relationship where you were truly connected to your partner. There was love on both sides, well..., at least in the beginning I would say. BUt unfortunately, your partner was loving you only part of the time. The rest of the time, the relationship was hurtful and damaging. The relationship is behind you, whether you realise it or not, although you constantly tell the others (eg: your current girl friend) that you've already forgot about your ex, but deep down inside, you are still having trouble letting go emotionally. I'm talking about emotionally here. Which mean, although you are not physically with your ex anymore, but... but... he or she still has a place in your heart. Whether you knew it, or not.

(n/b: she in this article could be substitute with he, whichever is applicable)

So how do you let go of someone, your-ex, whos is still breathing but who is not good for you?

One thing you have to know that, your partner would have give you all you wanted, the stars and moon and the diamonds and the rings if he/she could. Even though she appeared to hurt you, with or without intention, she was always doing the best she could. Understand that, she never intentionally hurt you, (even if she cheats on you).

To let go of your past relationship, forive your ex, forgive yourself, and undertand that her behavious is not your fault. UNderstand thath all of her behaviours comprise all of her person. Sometimes she is wonderful (that's why you have the thought of getting married with her), sometimes she is horrible. And all of the time she was who she is. There is no way you can only have her good side. Her bad side was hurtful. Her bad side was awful. BUt it's the end of story. So let your ex off the hook.

There is something we can do to honour and cherish the true connection between the two of you. Send thoughts of peace, healing and joy to your ex whenever your past relationship cross your mind. Well I personally did that and I feel better. Whenever you miss her, send her love. YOu might he reluctant, you might be hesitant to do what is stated above. You may be afraid that it will make you go back into the relationship with your ex. But no, no, no.

The reason for honouring your connection is not to somehow bring your ex back to you. Instead, by honouring a good relationship, you become free of nager you feel towards her. Someone asked me whether am I angry with the way that my ex treated me. My answer is: I don't feel it at all now. By honouring the gifts, the joy that she did gave you, instaed of focusing on what she did not give you, you will begin to feel peace and gratitude.

Over time, freeing yourself of anger at your ex will give you the ability to attract and create the extraordinary relationship you want, of course, with someone else. Someone who is greater :)

Love, P

Ignorance is Bliss

Ignorance is blissYou’d always hear me sayBut at times you can’t denyThose eyes looking your wayLet me begin by saying what I meanIt’s a crime against the heart you knowTo be somewhere in betweenWell don’t be shyI’ve got an open heart and handAnd I just might have to confess just where I standLately you make me weaker in the kneesAnd race through my veins baby every time you’re close to meTake me away to places I ain’t seenThey say you’ve got a hold on me…And I won’t disagreeRock-a-bye my babyDon’t be blue tonightOh I’m on my wayAnd I’m gonna make it rightCause I’ve got the feelingYou’ll be needing loveAnd of all the lonely heartsYou’re the one I’m thinking ofI’ve been told it’s gonna take an iron handTo break the mold and stand above all of the restI’ll be thinking of that eveningWhen there’s nothing for me to doAnd I’ll be wondering if by some slim chanceYou’ve been wondering too

A Shark Tale

I was spending a lovely lunch date with one of my gf at The Apartment last Thursday. When I was about to feed myself with my ordered Duck Meat Spaghetti, I received a phone call from Mr. G, saying that he couldn't pick me up later in the evening. I was upset no more but experiencing hypoglycemia when I was told that he was bitten by a shark! What?! A shark? My Ducky Spaghetti looks like what a bulimic patient has just thrown out suddenly.

The culprit is a Tawny Nurse Shark, also known as Giant Sleepy Shark. It was a blessing in disguise because this Tawny Nurse only got Mr. G's (upper) thigh but not anywhere else. *phew~~ He could have loss his life if the shark got him on his neck. What a fright!

It was also lucky because Tawny Nurse has only small mouth and small comb-like teeth. If it is anything like the one we watch on the movie Jaws, I could have fainted by just answering that phone call.

-Lucky enough-

Strawberry N.O.S.E

Strawberry, one of my favourite berry. I like it when it is one of the flavour in my favourite chocolate ice-cream. I like it, it could be make into shortcake. I like it to be spread on my plain toast. I even like it to eat it on its own.

A few weeks ago, I looked into a mirror. Oh it was such a disaster. I noticed my nose turned into my favourite strawberry. Except that bright red and green petal leaves. I was totally devastated (no joke okay). Black and white head all over. Just like how it looks like my favourite fruit, strawberry.

I am really frustrated because I've tried to get rid of them (the black and the white heads) of many times and yet they reappear. I even noticed that my pores are getting nothing but bigger thanks to constant force applied to remove those lil dirt out.

There's no sit down and relax when it comes to this kind of situation. Especially MY skin, MY face. Just a few days before the incident, I bought Shue Uemura High Performance Balancing Oil for a friend as one of her birthday gift. She strongly suggested that I should give that product a try. And I tried.

This is a 2-in-1 cleanser and make up remover. It claims that it thoroughly rids skin impurities which I found it very true because as I massage the oil in my face, I can feel the debris coming out and when I look at my palms, those tiny lil black and white thingy has already been removed :) Amazing, no?

30 Things that You Don't Know About Me, or maybe you might

1. My favourite is sunflower.
2. But I don't mind receiving roses.
   
3. I love bags and shoes.
   
4. I admire Chinese idioms and poems.
   
5. Despite I am being practical at most time, I would love to receive a teddy bear as a gift.
6. I used to listen to Velvet Revolver when I was 16.
7. I feel in love with Natalie Portman in Closer.
8. Since then I use the phrase 'Hey, stranger'.
9. I learned piano when I was 12. I quit because my teacher has bad breath.
   
10. My contact lens power are -4.75 (R) and -3.25 (L) respectively.
    
11. My first CD bought was Celine Dion's All the Way... A Decade of Song.
12. Iguazu Waterfall is one of the spot in my travel list.
13. I would like to get married at the age of 28.
14. I like to read when I have time.
15. Thinks Jude Law stinks but very juicy. VERY edible.
16. I can roll my tongue.
17. I have a thing for hairy stuffs.
18. I like pudding milk tea.
    
19. I like to dance with Rhythm & Blue.
20. Is exploring Anthony and the Johnsons now.
21. My ultimate emo song sung by Sia.
22. I am a perfume craze. I was once addicted to my Morgan eau de toilette.
    
23. I like the number 23.
24. I like musical very much.
25. I like to dress up for orchestra concert.
26. I like to dress up for romantic dinner treats.
27. I like Sunday matinee stage play. It feels more casual.
28. I like to flirt. Old habits die hard.
29. Has Impulsive Shopping Disorder claimed by if not 2 then 3 of my close friends.
30. I like lomography.

Miss U

I really miss my long hair lor

There is this kind of fruit which is very addictive.
It is called forbidden.

mee-ree

-Me @ Miri Airport. Looking all tired but with the emphatic smile-

Miri was the last destination of my working trip to the Borneo for the month of September. It was my first time to the land of hornbills but unfortunately I see non of them. The place was so much better compared to my previous trip to Tawau as Miri is the birthplace of Malaysia's petroleum industry, which also remains the major industry of the city. It was another working trip so I did not really have the chance to tour around. I wanted to go to the national parks one loh. ie the Mulu National Park and the Niah Caves.
Thou, I went to this secluded place called Marina Bay in the evening for dinner. The sea and the wind give me an impression of the O.C. Too bad I missed the sunset. It was a really romantic place and I can be very sure that you will be captivated by the charm and beauty of that place. Aww...

-Marina Bay-

-Marina Bay Restaurant. It is like a big mansion with amazing cravings. The place was crazily awesome but because it was quite dark when I went there, I cant have really good shoots.

Well in order for you to get a better idea of the awesomeness of that place, I got some pictures online to show you. Apparently, it is better to go during the day or in the evening, whenever there is still sunlight.

-Marina View-

-Marina Yatch-

- Marina Path-

-Marina Seahorse-

- Marina Server-

-Marina Stairs-

-Marina Verandah-

-Marina Interior-

pictures courtesy of sixthseal.com

Just before the dinner, my co-workers and I went driving around and we spotted this:

Angelina Jolie's look-a-like resident. I want a house like this. Imagine yourself waking up every morning facing the sea, sitting on your rottan swing enjoying your cuppa of tea, smoking pot opps, and et cetera. How wonderful life is?

We also drove ourselves aimlessly. We reached a hotel called I cant remember and we instantly regretted the hotel that we checked in at another place. I cant remember hotel is situated next to the sea, where you can see a lot of mini pine trees by the beach. The pine trees are so cute that I decided to take a picture of myself with them. And here you go, Penny and the Pines.

That's all for now. Till then.

Wish everyone a wonderful Raya Holiday. Though, some can't be bothered.

Evidence

evidence. dont say i didn't. lol

Baby

Hi everyone, my name is Jason. I am one year old.


















I like to climb on mummy's back.


















I love to smile. I love to smile to nature. I love to smile to people. I am your sweetest.












Here, take a look at one of my 'cool' shot.
Till then everyone. Bye.

One Millionth Billionth of a Millisecond on a Sunday Afternoon

R.O.U.N.D

What is it called when someone is fear of round object? Roundophobia? Spherophobia? Can anyone find me the correct phobia term?

I looked at the round light attached to the ceiling wall. I shivered because it is round in shape. It is round in shape it looks like a woman's boobs.

I saw a head light and i went out of mind. I went out of mind because it is round in shape. It is
round in shape it resembles a woman's boobs.

I starred at the clock and I turned away. I turned away because it is round in shape. It is round in shape it reminds me of a woman's boob.

I have enough. Have enough of round objects and women's boobs.

Anyone with a stick? Or tongue? Prolly it'll help.

S.O.S

Of Facial Expression and Wrinkles

Ms. Bunga Mawar: I've told you, the reason that I don't smile a lot is because I don't want to have wrinkles!

As mentioned above, today my lecturer explained herself behind her fiery appearance. Indeed, facial expression is one of the factor that cause us wrinkles. However, what we are talking here is the OVERACTIVE facial expression muscles and UNPLEASANT expressions such as frowning. I've read out some of the articles in the internet and come out with some information regarding the statement released by beloved Ms. Rose. Facial muscles are like elastic sheets and wrinkles has been said to be divided into 2 types, which is the expressive wrinkles and micro wrinkles. we are more concerned about the expressive wrinkles today. as we age, the facial skin become less elastic and hence expressive wrinkles tend to set more on our face. there are actually many other factors that contribute to the formation of wrinkles, for instance:

• excessive exposure to the sun and other chemical elements
• frequent use of tobacco products
• poor nutrition
• skin disorders
  

however, there are also ways to eradicate wrinkles, for example:

• plastic surgery
• cosmetic cream

As the saying goes , prevention is always better than cure. although wrinkles are inevitable, but keeping them few or delayed is somehow possible. how could we do that? let's see.

• DON'T SMILE TOO OFTEN (according to Ms. Bunga Mawar)
• Hydration- Drink plenty of H Two O
  
• Practice good hygiene
• Practice healthy diet
• Reduce stress and tension
• Protect skin from the environment, eg: wear a hat, put on sun protection lotion

It is no doubt that human face is a powerful communication tool. our facial expression says it all without us have to utter a word. Whilst facial expression are one of the factors that cause us wrinkles, I think that it gives us character and a smile on the face always make a brighter day. so, we should still smile our way... but just don't overdo it :) have a great day everyone.

byebye

Goodbye Rach.

HSBC Classics

- me at HSBC Classics-

Missing and Borneo

hi people,

i know it spells disappointment every time you log on to Penache with nothing bring up to date. as some of my chums may know, i have been working on projects arranged by my previous co-op employer with Best World Lifestyle (BWL) and it's going on until the month of November. as the work requires a lot of traveling outstation, i spent my time mostly not-at-home and this explains alot of my absentees on Penache, MSN, Facebook et. cetera. as the outskirt areas has limited assesibilities to the major town and hospital services, my role as a tomographer (mammographer alike) is to travel around mostly to small towns to provide the mobile service. this give me a chance to visit to places that i never thought of or ever wanted to sojourn.

have been working like mad i cant remember exactly which and where i went to i have to refer to my organizer. and its uncanny that my memory is very bad lately. the short term memory lost irritates me and others who are inpatient. i 'll just start with my recent trip to Sandakan. pichas shown with no edits no photoshop no whatever because my bitchy laptop is being a bitch she bullies me by being a bitch. okay enough of that im just pissed off with her performance speed that's it.

-i like to take pictures of clouds i dont know why-

-i like to sit near the plane window because i like to take pictures of clouds-


-stairs to my room @ Mark's Lodge. it was the first night stay. small but VERY comfy room. the bed makes you wanna sleep in there like no tomorrow.-


-dinner @ DePalm. no pictures of yours truly she looks pale.-


-me. silhouette @ Ocean King. serves savory but cheap seafood. worh every of your penny spent.-

-notice the laddder. it gets freaky when you climb up/down.-



-this is what they called the fish 'trap'.-

-au natural-

-pocketful of sunshine-

-side of town-

-inhaling. not-

-aka Little HongKong. view from the top of the hill.-

-@ temple on hill.-

-Sabah Hotel-

-Yours truly. pale-

-Sepilok. the orang utan rehabilation centre.-

-sighting of orang utans are not guaranteed. i waited half an hour to see this stupid creature. it is so stupid it looks like human.-

- this is the platform where you can wait for the orang utans. i know i look round and full in this pic but i dont look like orang utan.-

- i like to sit beside the plan window because i like to take pictures of sunset skies.-

till then :)